shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
