You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
