Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
