yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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