I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
