We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
