Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
