she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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