I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
