Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Be still, my beating vagina.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize