Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
