I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
