why didn't you poke me back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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