It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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