we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
