I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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