I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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