he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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