is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
