i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize