Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
