Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
