I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
