the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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