Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
