Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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