we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize