She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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