i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
