You're completely useless in the revolution.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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