I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize