the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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