I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
