just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
