The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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