oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize