I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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