Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
