We're facebook friends in real life
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They took my balls.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
