Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
