I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
