just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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