Do vagina's smell?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
