Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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