If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
