that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
