We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
