Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize