i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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