WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You made out with two different species that night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
