the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
