called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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