winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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