If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
