And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
