So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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