hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
