You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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