we're blogging at a bar
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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