I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
