allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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