My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
