bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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