Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
